Today author LM Preston joins us as part of her blog tour to celebrate the release of her new book Flutter Of Luv. I think she has a lot of thoughtful and important things to say about bullying. Read on!
Want to win a copy of Flutter of Luv? Leave a comment on this blog post to enter.
Guest Post: TEASING VS BULLYING
by LM Preston
While writing FLUTTER OF LUV, I had to think about how I would approach “friendly teasing”.
I did a recent middle school visit at a school and found that a child committed suicide in the school. Sadness. My heart broke for the school and the child. During my visit on the STOP THE VIOLENCE panel the kids asked all kinds of questions, but most of them focused around bullying.
This one question stuck firmly in my mind and made me remember something my grandmother used to tell me.
IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON’T SAY NOTHING AT ALL!
I used to hate when she reminded me of that considering I was a snarky teen who thought she knew it all. I had an opinion on everything and didn’t have a problem telling it the way I saw it – especially because people didn’t have a problem reminding me that I was “short”, a “four eyes”, a “square”, a “bastard”, had a uni-brow and much more.
TEASING CAN LEAD TO BULLYING
Although it may seem innocent, teasing can stir the beginnings of bullying. I’ll take my own childhood example.
I was constantly teased for having a uni-brow and being fat. I mean, I was teased about this by my family, by friends, by teachers, heck even people I didn’t know.
My response usually was to just laugh it off. So those perpetrators thought that their teasing didn’t mean anything to me and that I Was In On Their Joke….but deep down inside, with all those people saying the same thing over and over to me – well, I started to think that what they said was true.
HOW TEASING TURNS TO BULLYING
So, since so many people were ‘teasing’ me about my uni-brow and my weight, I started to hate those things about myself, because…THEY DIDN’T CHOSE TO SAY SOMETHING NICE – WHAT THEY SAID WAS MEAN, and even now as a writer – I have to fight the negativity and let only the positivity in. But at that time, I was a kid, and all any kid wants to do is – be accepted.
I figured I could change those things about myself, and the first thing I did was shave my eyebrows. Let me tell you – that didn’t go over too well. Everyone noticed and I got teased worst for it. I let them grow back.
My weight, well, I wasn’t fat, but I was chuncky and at 14yrs old when I wanted a boyfriend like my friends had, I thought I could set off to drop some weight. Then the ‘teasing’ changed and people started giving me compliments, only thing was, I was losing weight to the point of near starvation, fainting, and anorexia. Thankfully I had a very aware grandmother, who stepped in, talked to me, explained to me how beautiful I was inside, that I had to eat and she made sure I did. She told me NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU IF YOU DON’T LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
Wow – and she told me to LOOK IN THE MIRROR to REMIND MYSELF I AM LOVED. You know what, she did it with me that first day, and even more so after that, until one day – I started to do it for myself.
SO SHARE WITH ME HOW YOU HAVE OVERCOME BULLYING. How you don’t let negativity from nasty words affect you.
About Flutter of Luv:
Dawn, the neighborhood tomboy is happy to be her best friend’s shadow. Acceptance comes from playing football after school with the guys on the block while hiding safely behind her glasses, braces and boyish ways. But Tony moves in, becomes the star running back on her school’s team and changes her world and her view of herself forever.
LM. Preston loved to create poetry and short-stories as a young girl. She worked in the IT field as a Techie and Educator for over sixteen years. Her passion for writing science fiction was born under the encouragement of her husband who was a Sci-Fi buff and her four kids. Her obsessive desire to write and create stories of young people who overcome unbelievable odds feeds her creation of multiple series for Middle Grade and Young Adult readers thirsty for an adventure. She loves to write while on the porch watching her kids play or when she is traveling, which is another passion that encouraged her writing.
web site: lmpreston.com
Join in the blog tour with these stops:
Friday, July 27th, 5pm – 6pm, use hashtag #FlutterOfLuv and follow @Lm_Preston
Saturday, July 28th, 12pm-9pm EST
Party on Event Page
Blog Tour Stops:
ini Blog Tour:
LM Preston’s Ramblings – 7/13/2012
Indies Unlimited – 7/13/2012
A Little Bit Of R&R – 7/13/2012
Doreen McGettigan – 7/17/2012
Writer’s Alley – 7/17/2012
I Want To Read That – 7/18/2012
The Daily Harrell – 7/19/2012
Word Forge Books – 7/20/2012
Searching For An Escape – 7/21/2012
The Write Game – 7/23/2012
Stephen Penner – 7/24/2012
Black Words White Pages – 7/26/2012
Curiosity Key – 7/27/2012
SomeoneWhoActuallyCares – 7/27/2012
LM Preston’s Ramblings – 7/28/2012
Tribute Books Reviews & Giveaways – 7/23/2012
Tribute Books Mama – 7/24/2012
The Character Connection – 7/25/2012
The Plot Thickens – 7/26/2012
City Girl Who Loved To Read – 7/27/2012
Twitter Release Party! – 5pm-6pm use hashtag #FlutterOfLuv
FACEBOOK Release Party! – 7/28/2012