Reasons Not To Kill Yourself. If you’re thinking of suicide…

Reasons Not To Kill Yourself
by Cheryl Rainfield

If you’re thinking of suicide….
Please talk to someone. Call or text a crisis line. Call someone who loves you. Get support. And

Please Do Not To Kill Yourself:

  • Because you deserve to live, and to find happiness and joy and love and laughter. It may not seem like you can find those things right now, but they will come. You have had them once, and they will come again;

  • Because things will get better, and when they do, you will want to be here to enjoy them;

  • Because if you kill yourself it will deeply hurt the people who love you and care about you;

  • Because there will never be another person like you, bringing your unique perspective into the world. It’s only by staying alive that you can have a voice, and help to make things better in the world–for you, and for others;

  • Because if you kill yourself, you will let all the people who hurt you so horribly win. And they should not win. We need good people in this world;

  • Because your pain will pass, and get lighter, and you will find beauty again in the things around you, and love, and laughter;

  • Because you matter. Even if you think you don’t, you do. You touch other people. Your life has an impact. People care about you;

  • Because if you kill yourself, you can never undo that act. It is final and forever. You can never again see love and compassion in the eyes of the people who love you, feel the touch of someone’s hand on yours, hug your dog or cat, listen to the rain on a roof, taste ice cream melting on your tongue. You can never have a chance to be happy again;

  • Because death is not relief or release; it is an end. You don’t feel anything after you die. But you can feel relief and release if you stay alive, and find a way to release your pain safely. Find a way to take in the love of the people who care about you;

  • Because even the deepest pain can lessen. Talk to someone you love. Write out your pain. Cry it out. Scream into a pillow. Break something. Do what you need to to get out your pain safely;

  • Because you are not alone. There are so many people who have felt the way you feel, experienced the things you have experienced. Reach out. Talk to others. You are not alone;

  • Because the desire to kill yourself will pass, if you can just wait it out long enough. Distract yourself. Call a friend. Call a crisis line. Do something you enjoy, even if you think you won’t enjoy it;

  • Because if you stick around, you will find one day that you are glad you did. You will find more good people who care about you. You will find your voice. You will do things that you love and that make you happy;

  • Because I have been there, too. I know how bad it is. And I know it can get better. It did for me. It will for you. And I hope for good things for you. Please choose to live.

Please reach out to someone if you’re feeling suicidal. Don’t stay silent. Choose life and hope.

Click here to download this is a PDF.

Crisis Lines:

If you ever need support, don’t forget you can call, text, chat, or email support and crisis lines. I recommend RAINN, especially for survivors of rape and abuse, The Trevor Project for LGBTQ youth, To Write Love On Her Arms, and these other great support lines here: CrisisTextLine and
here: Do Something.

See also:

US and Canada: National Suicide Prevention LifeLine
24 Hour Crisis Hotline 1 (800) 273-TALK
1 (800) 273-8255

International: Befrienders

Please also read this:

Reasons Not To Kill Yourself

and this:

If You Are Thinking About Suicide, Please Read This First

15 Responses to “Reasons Not To Kill Yourself. If you’re thinking of suicide…”

  1. Chelsea W. Says:

    Ms. Rainfield, I’ve sent you emails and told you this before (though I don’t expect you to remember me, haha), but you are simply wonderful. Thank you so much for posting this. Sometimes the days just get so hard, y’know? & at times, it can seem impossible to be able to move forward. But you inspire, and when I need it, I look at your “Reasons Not to Hurt Yourself” list that I printed and taped up next to my bed; I love that list so much.
    Thank you immensely! 🙂

  2. Cheryl Rainfield Says:

    Chelsea, thank you. (hugging you) Yes–I so very much understand some days getting so hard, feeling too hard. I’ve been there, too. I’m so very glad my posts help you, so glad you read Reasons Not To Hurt Yourself. That is smart of you, brave of you, strong of you to do that. Thank you for telling me (and telling me again)! It means a lot to me.
    Take good care of yourself,

  3. Wendy Orr Says:

    An amazing post from an amazing woman. Thank you for sticking around, and for helping others to make the decision. Everything in life changes, even the darkest despair. It would be a real shame to miss the getting better part.

  4. Cheryl Rainfield Says:

    Thank you, Wendy! (hugging you) I think you’re amazing, too. 🙂 And thank you for being glad I’m here. And I so agree–it would be crummy to miss the good stuff when things get better. Another good reason for people to hold on to, to stay here.

  5. JR Wagner Says:

    Thank you, Cheryl for this amazing post. You are a beacon of light for so many people. Truly.

  6. Cheryl Rainfield Says:

    Thank you, Josh (hugging you). I so appreciate your saying that!

  7. Jennifer Says:

    Thank you for this. Amazing video and post.

  8. Cheryl Rainfield Says:

    You’re very welcome, Jennifer (smiling at you). i’m glad you liked it! Take good care of yourself, Cheryl

  9. Ruby Says:

    Your “it gets better” video may have saved my life. I watched it one day when I’m not sure what would have happened, and it may have made the difference. I wanted you to know that.

  10. Ruby Says:

    p.s. Thank You.

  11. Cheryl Rainfield Says:

    Ruby, I’m very glad it helped you! (hugging you) And thank you for letting me know; it’s lovely to hear. Please take good care of yourself. You matter! And you deserve to find happiness.

  12. Ruby Says:

    Thank you again, so so much. Thank you for your response. You are truly an amazing inspiration to me and so many others. I read your response to the criticism of SCARS and gritty YA fiction in general, and you were brilliant. I would be surprised if people with that perspective have suffered that kind of abuse. I think that opinion is one of total ignorance. There is one thing abusers don’t want us to do: talk about our abuse. You have broken the silence and should be very proud.

  13. Cheryl Rainfield Says:

    You’re very welcome, Ruby (smiling at you). And thank you so much for your kind words. I agree with you; I doubt that people who’ve been abused–and who remember it and are facing it–would want to suppress or ban books like Scars or other YA that deals with painful subjects. And I very much agree–abusers usually don’t want us to talk about our abuse, or the abuse of others. It helps to talk about it–for ourselves, when we’re ready, and also to let others know that they’re not alone.

  14. Suicide Prevention: The Special Day Over, the Work Begins | Lyn Miller-Lachmann Says:

    […] about her own struggles with self-harm, posted links on various social media outlets to her list of “Reasons Not to Kill Yourself, If You’re Thinking of Suicide.” It’s worth reading carefully, because she’s been […]

  15. Thoughts From Lyn Miller-Lachmann: Suicide Prevention: The Special Day Over, the Work Begins | Strong in the Broken Places Says:

    […] her own struggles with self-harm, posted links on various social media outlets to her list of “Reasons Not to Kill Yourself, If You’re Thinking of Suicide.” It’s worth reading carefully, because she’s been […]

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