Monthly Archives: April 2019

A poem to my abusers

A poem to my abusers:

You made me afraid
to trust others
to trust myself.
You made me expect
everyone would hate abuse
rape torture me
the way you did.
I fought hard to trust
– sometimes trusting too easily –
to believe in the good
in people
but I found it and keep
finding it.
I heal and keep healing.
You lose. -Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS, STAINED, HUNTED.

I’ve been editing my new manuscript and enjoying it, but there are really intense scenes and chapters that are drawn from my abuse and trauma experience. Sometimes I need to take a break from it, and other times I just need to get it out a bit like this poem.

Talking about our abuse and trauma experience can be healing-especially when we are heard and met with compassion- and so can reading about or hearing about others, knowing that we are not alone. And then other times we just need to escape it. I think both are healthy as long as we’re not doing one or the other constantly. What do you think?

#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #LGBTQwriter #booknerd #bookworm #ireadYA #survivor #feminist #YAlit #YAbooks #yawritersofinstagram
#traumasurvivor #csa #SAAM #healing #MeToo #healingabuse #risingvoices Continue reading

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Petal wanted some sun

Petal wanted some sun, so even though it’s chilly we sat out. She has pancreatitis again – it’s chronic – and the knee that was operated on is hurting her. But she’s still the sweetest, gentlest girl. (She’s on two pain meds; a low fat, low protein diet; digestive enzymes; a fermented probiotic; and a few natural and homeopathic remedies we’re trying out. I wish I could take away her pain. But she still wants to be with me all the time, still plays and loves people and treats. Lots of sleepless nights, but we’re getting through together.) Continue reading

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When I get really deep, insightful editorial feedback

When I get really deep, insightful editorial feedback that I can see will make my #manuscript even stronger and more gripping, I get excited to edit. That’s what I got from my fab agent Jennifer Wills at Seymour. She has such a great eye for story! (beaming) I have been editing crazily since Friday! #amediting #amwriting #writing #writinglife #editing #literaryagent #JenniferWills #seymouragency
#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #LGBTQwriter #booknerd #bookworm #ireadYA #survivor #feminist Continue reading

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When I really love a book

When I really love a book and it is a hard copy I put a sticky note next to passages that move me, speak to me, or I love how they’re written. It’s reading mostly as a reader and some as a writer. It helps me notice it more. If it’s a great book, the pages end up looking like multi-colored hair like my copy of CROWN OF FEATHERS by Nicki Pau Preto. (grinning) Can you tell I loved it?

Sometimes I’ll remove the sticky notes later, and sometimes I leave them and see if the same passages resonate next time around.

I guess this is a readerly and writerly quirk of mine. Anyone else do this?

Side note: if you want to be a writer you need to read!

#readingasawriter #loveofreading #crownoffeathers #nickipaupreto #YAlit #yafantasy #bookrecs #bookrecommendations #bookstagram
#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #LGBTQwriter #booknerd #bookworm #ireadYA #survivor #feminist Continue reading

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My #Uppercase box arrived with all sorts of goodies!

My #Uppercase box arrived with all sorts of goodies! A signed copy of #yafantasy WICKED SAINTS by Emily A Duncan; a related enamel pin; a Harry Potter wallet, and a gorgeous watercolour bookmark. And as always the bookmark with codes where you get extra material relating to the book. I love books AND bookish things so this is such a treat – all from my reader and friend Lynn Postlewait! Thank you Lynn! (beaming)
#Uppercasebox #wickedsaints #emilyaduncan #harrypotter #bookmarks #bookishgifts #bookswag #bookishbox
#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #LGBTQwriter #booknerd #bookworm #ireadYA #survivor #feminist #YAlit #YAbooks Continue reading

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Jean, who is my therapist and like a mom to me, is also a talented artist.

Jean, who is my therapist and like a mom to me, is also a talented artist. This is one of her pencil crayon pieces. She just created an Instagram account; I hope you will check it out and give her a like and a follow if you like it.

Via @_jean_rankin_ – Pencil crayon abstract vision #jeansdreams #MountainArts #hamont #jeanrankin #hamontartist #artistsofinstagram #illustratorsofinstagram #pencilcrayondrawings #pencilcrayon Continue reading

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I am delighted that STAINED is featured in a Wiki video: 12 Compelling Young Adult Thrillers.

I am delighted that STAINED is featured in a Wiki video: 12 Compelling Young Adult Thrillers. (beaming) It is timely since Sarah in STAINED is raped by her captor and must find a way to save herself, just as I did – and this is #SAAM Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Survivors are strong.
You can see the video with 12 YA thrillers at https://wiki.ezvid.com/m/12-compelling-young-adult-thrillers-n3abSt2GDGfZL

#YAthriller #YAbooks #yabookrecommendations #bookrecs #bookrecommendations
#stained #abduction #rape #sexualassault #MeToo #csa
#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #LGBTQwriter #booknerd #bookworm #ireadYA #survivor #feminist #YAlit Continue reading

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Tonight I celebrated signing with Jennifer Wills, a literary agent who I’m excited about, with two of my neighbours

Tonight I celebrated signing with Jennifer Wills, a literary agent who I’m excited about, with two of my neighbours – and Petal, of course. We ate good vegetarian and gluten-free food, talked and laughed, and played games including Oxfurd Bluff, a word game, which we all enjoyed. I am grateful for good neighbours and for bits of fun, for getting an agent I’m excited about, for the friends who are my chosen family who have always believed in me, for being published and my books reaching readers, and for Petal, and Willow before her.

#friendsarefamily #chosenfamily #goodneighbours #wordgames #writinglife
#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #LGBTQwriter #booknerd #bookworm #ireadYA #survivor #feminist
#petalrainfield #chinesecrested #hairyhairless #dogstagram #ilovemydog #ilovemychinesecresteddog #dogmom Continue reading

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This How To Be An Artist poster by SARK is one of my very favorites from her.

This How To Be An Artist poster by SARK is one of my very favorites from her. It is so playful, creative, affirming, and joyful, a reminder to keep being playful and curious and open. I think SARK has a lot of wisdom and her books and prints can be very helpful for all of us, especially creatives, sensitive people, and people who are playful. I’m posting this for @elizabeth_sagan because she asked what that post positive affirmation poster behind me is, that is so often in my photos. (grinning)

#sark #howtobeanartist #playful #creative #creative #creativemind #writers Continue reading

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I just got the sweetest #bookish gift from reader & friend Lynn Postlewait

I just got the sweetest #bookish gift from reader & friend Lynn Postlewait – this T that says: Between The Pages of a Book Is a Lovely Place To Be! I heartily agree. I love bookish & #writerly things!

It was such good timing, too. Yesterday I had a really rough day, harder than I’ve had in a while, severe depression and despair that periodically comes up from trauma and exhaustion and worry. Today’s been better but I’m still struggling with depression.

But tonight I am going to celebrate with two neighbors on my getting a literary agent who I’m really excited about (who is also excited about me and my work), and this bookish t-shirt is perfect for that. It also helps lift my spirits. We all need to know that we are cared about. I hope you know that you are. And we all need to know that things will get better. Sometimes we just need little reminders of that. Today this is mine.

#friendsarefamily #bookshirt #readershirt #writershirt #bookishgifts #readergifts #writergifts
#cherylrainfield #YAwriter #LGBTQwriter #booknerd #bookworm #ireadYA #survivor #feminist Continue reading

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